Cynical Neurotic Female

This article has been published in The Star and MalaysiaKini dated 22nd May 2006.

I have been diving at the world’s famous Pulau Sipadan and its neighbouring islands annually for the past couple of years. The last trip being early last month. I am proud of my beloved country’s rich marine treasures. I had the pleasure of researching the coral reefs of Malaysia in my post graduate studies. Many Malaysians, myself included, are not aware of the richness of our marine bio-diversity. We are third on the list of countries with the highest number of coral species. Sipadan has been dubbed as one of the top ten best dive sites in the world. Her immense beauty has lured divers from all over the world. International travellers paying a hefty sum to appreciate what Malaysians sometimes take for granted.

Therefore, the blatant negligence of the people responsible for the strayed barged at Sipadan is truly appalling. I am also shocked to read Clement Lee of Borneo Divers comparing coral damages from natural causes such as El Nino to man made damages such as this. The photograph on the blog of FiNS Magazine Associate Editors, Andrea and Antonella Ferrari who witnessed the incident, clearly showed the extend of the damage - coral reefs scraped clean by the barge’s flat steel hull. Restoring coral reefs where there is none left is impossible in our lifetime. Gravel and debris are suffocating what is left at the fringes of the damaged area.

I hope that the relevant authorities would be able to explain to the concerned and angered public regarding the presence of an enormous steel barge carrying thousands of tonnes of coarse gravel, sand, steel tubes, iron mesh and all in the waters of Sipadan. It is clearly obvious that the contents were either from or to a major construction site which should not be possible within the vicinity of Sipadan.

I believe that Malaysia has been trying to step up in the world’s view on her conservation efforts. Let us prove that we, as Malaysians, are proud of our natural inheritance and we pledge to protect it the best we can. I urge the relevant authorities to bring justice to these perpetrators. Although the damage has been done but let it not be in vain. A lesson of diligent monitoring and caring can be learnt by the custodians of natural resources and a strong message of warning can be sent to rogue would-be perpetrators.

P/S: Allow me to share the beauty of Sipadan with you.

This article has been published in The Sun and MalaysiaKini dated 28th April 2006.

After reading the newspaper this morning, I felt extremely compelled to write about a foul topic - rubbish. Yes, RUBBISH! It is all about rubbish today - on the eve of Earth Day. One must not complain about rubbish if one does not take responsibility of what is discarded into our bins daily. Malaysians are recycling less than 3% as compared to more than 30% in other countries and it is evident today that we are facing solid waste management issues.

On the front page of The Star today, we see a bold Selangor State Government setting to implement stern and unpopular measures to stop river pollution and clean up the environment. Kudos for measures such as the immediate closure of dumpsites found leaking leachate, closing animal farms illegally discharging waste into rivers, and stiffer penalties on polluters. Unfortunately, there is also a proposal of two new landfills - the location unknown. Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Khir Toyo said, "They will not be disclosed now to minimise opposition".

The above action resulted in a "rubbish stand-off." The closure of Sungai Kembong and Kundang dumpsites resulted in 20 garbage-laden trucks redirected to Bukit Tagar landfill but was refused entry by the latter landfill. KUB-Berjaya Enviro, which manages the Bukit Tagar landfill, replied to the situation stating that it could not allow anyone to dump their waste without prior approval from the Housing and Local Government Ministry. The rubbish ended up in Ayer Itam landfill in Puchong. The 2 proposed landfills together with Ayer Itam and Bukit Tagar will form the backbone of the solid waste disposal system for the Federal Territory and Selangor as quote by Dr. Khir. This is truly disturbing that we are promoting landfills when we have done so little to reduce waste disposal. I believe Malaysia should consider zero waste approaches which have been put in place in a number of places in the Third World, including Cairo (Egypt), Curitiba (Brazil) and Mumbai (India), which have succeeded in composting and recycling the vast majority of their municipal discards. These approaches have proven capable of reducing the waste going to landfill by as much as 85%!

Nevertheless, there is still hope as we wait for the outcome of the solid waste management strategy after the Cabinet committee meets on environmental issues this April 28. I was glad to see that the controversial Broga Incinerator project in Semenyih was not forgotten. It is said that the 1,500-tonne incinerator, the largest of this type in Asia, will cost 1.5 billion ringgit (about US$395 million) to build and 200 million ringgit (about US$53 million) to operate per year. Not only is it costly and wasteful but a major threat to our health and environment too, as highlighted by many scientific studies linking incineration to ill health and environmental destruction.

We must change our attitudes towards waste disposal and recycling. The next time before you discard litter into the bin, look at what you hold in your hands. They are most likely to be made of paper, plastic, glass, metal or organic waste which are all recyclable one way or another. Yes, I agree with many that sometimes it is just too difficult to recycle when facilities such as recycling bins are scarce and few to come by. A lot more can be done by the Government to promote recycling as a direct and effective method of reducing waste going to landfills.

I urge our newly appointed Natural Resources and Environment Minister Datuk Seri Azmi Khalid to reconsider the current approach to solid waste disposal and management. Our beloved Prime Minister YAB Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi told the senior government officials to make sure that the projects under the Ninth Malaysia Plan are effective as Malaysia have less than 15 years to achieve the Developed Nation status. A safe, effective and sustainable solid waste disposal and management policy is what we should strive for as we look forward towards Wawasan 2020.

Went to get my face cleaned on Monday night so that it will look its best on Friday night. Just in time for my date with a cute errm… nephew to watch M! The Opera. My 32 year old nephew, ok? Me such a bad aunt.

Got a call at 1pm yesterday that the tickets are not booked but was offered 2 free tickets to opening night lastnight. Sure why not?! Rushed home like a crazy woman behind the wheels. Got picked up at 7:30pm and arrive at 8pm. Nephew’s driving must have improved. Free seating!! So have to behave like aunties rushing for the best sale in town. Got my seats but no dinner. Sneaked in a packet of Nips and a bottle of water. Thank God for chocolates or else I would’ve fainted by intermission. So let’s start with the bad…

The bad - Too lengthy for the first half - intermission at 10pm! There were scenes that was just too tedious to watch due to the long acts and rather bland story line. Second half was a lot better as the story line picked up.

The good - Dance choreography by Judimar Hernandez and the execution by the dancers were excellent! It was one of the high points of the show.

The bad - Khir Rahman’s performance was pale in comparison to George Chan’s electric performance and stage presence. M is suppose to be a characther with much depth but fail to come through that way.

The good - The costume designs were a real feast for the eyes. It also shows that the designers created the costumes suited to the players. Gorgeous!

The bad - The story line was too simple and short to be stretched that long a show.

The good - The company of singers were really good. Especially Mia Palencia with a really nice white full length dress at the end.

The bad - Seated about 10 rows from stage, I had a good view but the lighting was too harsh that at the end of the show my vision was quite blurry.

My latest letter to the editors…

Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of visiting the Aquaria at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre and experienced the Reptilian Encounter - a month long reptilian exhibition.

Being a herpetology enthusiast, I was impressed by the vast collection of reptilian species but the feeling was short-lived.

I was appalled to find protected and endangered wildlife on display where no commercial trading is allowed for those species. For example, the Indian Star Tortoises (Geochelone Elegans) found only in India, Sri Lanka and Pakistan and the Radiated Tortoises (Geochelone Radiata) found only in Madagascar and Mauritius, both listed in CITES as protected.

Malaysian wildlife is not spared either. The Malaysian Earth Tiger tarantula was declared by the Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment as protected wildlife back in April 2005. This species is believed to be endemic to Fraser’s Hill - a wildlife reserve.

Who is providing these wildlife to Aquaria and where did they source for them? Upon enquiring the staff of Aquaria, I was told that they belong to a commercial reptile exhibitor.

How did internationally protected wildlife ended up in a commercial reptile exhibitor’s collection?

How did the exhibitor sourced for a locally protected wildlife which is endemic to a wildlife reserve?

The Aquaria boasts its nature conservation effort through public awareness and education. I urge the owners and management of Aquaria to be diligent and stringent with their selection of vendors and exhibitors.

This article has been published in MalaysiaKini under Opinions and Features on 6th Feb 2006.

A belated congratulations to the Selangor State Government upon receiving its developed state status on August 27, 2005. It is that encouraging the state government declared and opened the Selangor Heritage Park  (Taman Warisan Selangor) on the same day – hopefully marking the birth of a new era in forestry conservation.

The Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Khir Toyo said that the 107,000 hectare park, which spreads across 3 districts – Hulu Selangor, Gombak and Hulu Langat, was guaranteed as a permanent forest reserve and no logging or development will be allowed unless the public agrees. The Selangor Heritage Park not only provides 98% of Selangor’s water supply, it also boasts the longest quartz ridge in the world at 14km long. Among other things, the park’s biodiversity is so rich and abundant that it cannot be ignored.

Unfortunately, the euphoria was short-lived. Below are the recaps on the reports in a chronological manner.

On September 13, Shukor Kadir  - a concerned citizen of Hulu Langat reported logging activities in the forest reserve that was suppose to be part of the Selangor Heritage Park. Upon lodging a report, Kadir was told that the gazette did not exist. The logging concessionaire Fungsi Mewah was awarded the permit in April 2001 but the logging permit commenced on August 1, 2005 and expires on July 31, 2006 for an area of 334 hectares. This mark the beginning of a very messy and confusing banter between the locals and the relevant authorities.

On September 16, the Press Secretariat of Selangor Government responded to clarify that opening of the park in August 27, 2005 was just a declaration of status and not the gazetting of the area. It is rather intriguing since the statements published in the Press following the event stating that it is indeed a gazette as mentioned by the Deputy Prime Minister, the Menteri Besar and members of the Press.

On January 15, it was reported by the Press that the villagers of Kampung Lembah Gahal, where the logging site is situated above, raised a complaint again after the previous complaint as reported by Shukor Kadir turned to deaf ears. This time it got the attention of Selangor Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Khir Toyo, State Exco for Natural resources, Datuk Raja Ideris Ahmad, and State Forestry Director Nik Mohd Shah. Dr Mohamad Khir claimed that the land is privately owned, and not part of the Selangor Heritage Park. Nevertheless, he was dissatisfied with the explanation given by the logging firm and hence issued a temporary stop work order pending further investigation and deliberation by the state executive council. Despite the stop-work order, villagers claimed that the operation continues. Apparently, logging activities were heavy and carried on till late into the night.

On January 18, the state government revoked the licence of the logging company. Although the stop-work order has been issued, the felled logs were allowed to be removed within a few weeks. Dr Mohamad Khir said the area would be turned into a forest reserve.

That was the last we have heard and it seems that there are still questions pending answers.

1. What is the status of the Selangor Heritage Park – was it a declaration or gazette back in August?

2. If indeed that the area has not been gazetted, does that mean the protection granted for Selangor Heritage Park cannot be applied to our forest reserves?

3. How do we ascertain if a forest reserve or logging site is not in the Selangor Heritage Park if the area has yet to be gazetted?

Being an avid nature lover, these incidences intrigued and compelled me to pay this infamous site a visit. I had a heavy suspicion that logging may still go on under the disguise of log removal. What I witnessed and discovered on this trip was very disheartening.

My first stop was the log yard – a clearing at the entrance where the felled logs are kept temporarily. I found logs that are oozing with sap which means they have just been felled. I also found logs that were too young to be felled as the diameter of the logs were far too thin. Logging firms in the past have claimed that the young trees were felled during the clearing of the logging path but I doubt we can be certain of it.

An interesting note is the signboard that states the area as Hutan Simpanan Hulu Langat when the site supposedly privately owned.

I was informed that the logging site is 3km away from the log yard. I went along the path for as long as I could before dusk falls. I noticed a few disturbing findings – the proximity of the logging path to the stream and the gradient of the slopes. I believe there should be a buffer zone between any clearing or logging road to a water source in order not to risk contamination or siltation.

The gradient of the slopes along the logging path was extremely steep where at certain points it was almost a vertical wall. These slopes are between 5 – 10 metres high. I dread to think the worst if there was a landslide or erosion as the villager are within the destruction path.

As I went along further into the path, I came to a split where the path had branches to the left, centre and right. The condition of the left and right path were very muddy and the vehicle tracks were very fresh. I could not continue on the path as it was dusk soon.

On the very next day, the headlines of our newspaper announces that Malaysia is ranked ninth on the Environmental Performance Index and next to that we saw the illegal felling of a 100 year old Tualang tree.

In all honesty, I do hope that our federal and state government step up to the challenge of being ranked the top nine most environmentally conscious country. Our Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak once said that the forest was a gift from God and that it was everyone’s responsibility to protect it - “Don’t look at our trees and forests as just a source of timber. Look beyond our forests and appreciate what they offer.”

by St. Francis of Assisi, Patron Saint of Ecology

Most High, Omnipotent, Good Lord,
Thine be the praises, the glory, and the honor and every blessing (cf. Apoc. 4:9.11).

To Thee alone, Most High, do they belong
and no man is worthy to mention Thee.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, with all Thy creatures (cf. Tob. 8:7),
especially mister brother sun,
of whom is the day, and Thou enlightens us through him.

And he is beautiful and radiant with a great splendor,
of Thee, Most High, does he convey the meaning.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for sister moon and the stars (cf. Ps. 148:3),
in heaven Thou has made them clear and precious and beautiful.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for brother wind,
and for the air and the cloudy and the clear weather and every weather (cf. Dan 3:64-65), through which to all Thy creatures Thou gives sustenance (cf. Ps. 103:13-14).

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for sister water,
who is very useful and humble and precious and chaste.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for brother fire (cf. Dan 3:66),
through whom Thou illumines the night,
and he is handsome and jocund and robust and strong.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for our sister, mother earth, (cf. Dan 3:74)
who sustains us and governs,
and produces various fruits with colored flowers and green plants (cf. Ps 103:13-14).

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for those who forgive for the sake of Thy love (cf. Mt 6:12),
and endure infirmity and tribulation.

Blessed those who endure them in peace (cf. Mt 5:10),
because by Thee, Most High, will they be crowned.

May Thou be praised, my Lord, for our sister, bodily death,
whom no man living can escape.

Woe to those, who die in mortal sin:
blessed those whom she will find in Thy most holy desires,
because the second death will do them no evil (cf. Apoc 2:11; 20:6).

Praise and bless my Lord (cf. Dan 3:85),
and give Him thanks and serve Him with great humility!

Chapter 2 - Let’s Fight!

Relationships are a lot like plants. You plant a seed and you tend to it everyday. We shower it with love, support, understanding, empathy and most of all… prayers! But are we suppose to abandon the seed if it does not sprout life soon? Or do we have faith and patience to see it comes to life. In all honesty, do we really give it a fighting chance? Does the seed bears potential fruitfulness that would be worth the time and effort?

Many are too hasty or too confident to call it quits before its time. In this day and age where we are tuned to the pace of instant everything, it has conditioned us to seek instant gratification, rewards, fruits of our labour and even instant love. But human emotions are extremely complex and rather phenomenal too.

What we may not see with the naked eye like the seed growing roots in the soil below, does that mean it isn’t there?

What we may not feel this instant for we may not be seeking the right emotion in the right place in our hearts in the right time or frame of mind, does that mean it isn’t there?

But how long should we wait and when do we quit? Yes, it is true that it is futile to be in a relationship that isn’t meant to be. Many too have stayed on when it was long overdue. I know that first hand being in one for 9 years before I left. But at least I know that I have given it the faith, patience and the fighting chance it deserved.

It’s been a long long while since my last blog… although there was so much to say in between but nothing left me as compelled to spew my thoughts as much as this.

Chapter 1 - Definition

Infatuation and Love like Spicy Salsa and Simmering Soup?

What is infatuation?
1: foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration
2: temporary love of an adolescent [syn: puppy love, calf love, crush]
3: an object of extravagant short-lived passion

What is love?
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
4. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person).
5. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).

When does one end and the other begin? Too many times we have encountered both personally and thru the lifes of our closest friends. When the infatuation fades and reality sets in… what happens after that? Do we abandon ship when we no longer feel the flutter in our hearts? Or does it slow down to a warm simmer? Will it bring a glow in our hearts when given a chance to grow?

Stay tuned for chapter 2…

A Semi-Banana’s reflection on "The Girl from Ipoh".

Definition of Semi-Banana:: 3 decade-old single female, yellow on the outside - white on the inside. Chinese-illiterate but speaks rather comprehendible hokkien and cantonese.

Alright, alright! Yes, I know the review is a tad too late since I actually watched it last Sunday. But then again, am I not just being a true Malaysian and keeping to our famous tardiness?

I must say kudos to Low Ngai Yuen for writing such an amusing play. A myriad of adjectives comes to mind - corny, hilarious, blatantly-truthful and even poignant. My thoughts were shared by others when I say it is a localised version of Bridget Jones. Female psychosis in its full glory transcends race, religion or geographical locations.

A fictional character Wong Mei Lee may be, but in her we see parts of ourselves that maybe we were too "banana" or too "woman" to see before. I find myself wanting to strangle the daylights out of her and only to realise why - I see myself in her.

Many of us were sent to missionary schools or public schools by our parents who believed that these schools will give us the added advantage of mastering the international language - English - hence, a brighter future. The Chinese language was merely spoken in its colloquial form at home - at best. Mingling with fellow bananas and semi-bananas did not help either.

I spent my formative childhood years at the Holy Infant Jesus Convent in Kelang. Sigh … also known as Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Convent and later went on to Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent before arriving in a hell hole of a school in the form of Sekolah Menengah Seaport in SS3 PJ where I spent my last 3 years of public education. (Ok .. fellow Seaportians, do not bash me. You know very well I am speaking the truth)

Yes, I may not speak Chinese well, I cannot sing Chinese songs in Karaoke, I may not be aware of 1,001 rules and taboos in the Chinese culture and tradition (I doubt any individual does). Yes, I may know Hamlet, Macbeth and Julius Caesar better than I know The Romance of the Three Kingdom. Yes, I may know Gaudi’s architectural marvels better than I know of … err… the Great Wall of China. Yes, I admit to enjoying my time with fellow bananas and gwailos better. It is so because of the commonality in interest and mindset rather than race or social makeup. I have been called names from Potato Queen to SPG - especially so in the 2 years of dating a gwailo. (Sorry, honey - no offense intended)

Should I be subjected to such judgements? Am I not merely being the product of the environment which I was exposed to.

As I grow older, I learn more about the beauty of my heritage, my Chinese roots and I am very truly proud of it. I am proud to BE part of it - vertically-challenged, flat nose, chinky eyes and all. A mahjong kaki - I am. I am desperately learning to speak Mandarin and read Chinese - in the hopes of not being a wallflower during karaoke sessions. I love the Cheong Sam or Qipao and proudly own a few pieces myself. I speak Cantonese for most part of the day when I am at work. And many more bits and bytes on how "Chinese" I am becoming.

But does this maketh me more Chinese than before? Am I not the same person who believed in filial piety, diligence and loyalty? Yes, I am. Aren’t these an example of the core values of being Chinese?

What maketh a Chinese truly Chinese then?

cynicism level :: 44%, neurotism level :: 69%

Apology - comprises of 3 little words when uttered usually brings comfort and healing to open wounds.

How well does the wounded heart heal? The physical anatomy of the human heart is amazingly resilient - pumping over 130 bpm during cardiovascular exercises. Yet, it is extremely delicate and fragile. Some will heal in time but the scars remain and some may never heal. Like a beautiful vase, once broken and mended will never be the same again. All the super adhesives in the world cannot mend a repeatedly broken vase.

A text came from 11,000kms away on a bright and early Wednesday morn. After 5 months of recuperation, the last knock came and the vase is broken for the very last time.

Apologies are the very essence of recuperation but like all healing elixirs, it loses its potency once over-abused. Hence, the final draw comes in the form of inoculation and quarantine of the infectious agent.

Once again, the vase is now in safe hands… and will return to its prior glorious state.